girl in back

where you can find me now

2008-03-14T10:45:00.002-04:00

i don't know if anyone ever has or will visit this very old and defunct blog of mine, but i figured now i've moved to wordpress i would post a link to my new home:

blameful.wordpress.com

how you like me now?

Harry Potter and the Juvenile Delinquent

2007-07-19T16:54:00.000-04:00

I wonder if Kara is going to be one of the zillions of people reading the new Harry Potter book.

let me explain. Kara (whose name is definitely not Kara, btw) was my favorite girl at my old work. She was 15 or 16 when i knew her, which was around 6 years ago, so she's now in her early 20s. I worked at a group home for troubled teen girls, she was one.

So, if you think about the kinds of teenagers who end up in group homes for being particularly precocious in the drinking/drugging/fighting categories the picture that comes to your head probably isn't that of an avid Harry Potter fan. This particular girl, however, was both everything you always pictured and everything you never did. She was foul mouthed. I was one of her favorite staff, and she called me a "cunt lapper" on a daily basis. What made that particularly amusing to me was that unbeknownst to her I was indeed a lesbian. She came from a bad family, grew up in a bad neighborhood, she smoked cigarettes and pot regularly (even with the weekly drug testing she had to endure after home visits), she drank, she got into fights, and her relationship with most of the staff was very poor due to her constant verbal abuse.

She also read everything she could get her hands on, just like i used to do. She read fast, and would do so for hours on end. The year I knew her she was placed in an advanced math class, the only class she was allowed to take with "normal" children, because her ability in math was so advanced. Halfway through the year the "priviledge" of attending a math class with non-delinquents was taken away because she stabbed another kid in the hand with a pencil. After that it was back to learning her multiplication tables all over again with the other juvenile delinquents for the 3rd year in a row.

She talked with me about going to college once or twice, casually. The fact that her current circumstances seemed very unlikely to lead her to any institution of higher learning apparently hadn't occurred to her.

With all the hysteria over this last book in the series i keep finding myself picturing her in the "quiet room" lying on her side reading "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". I find it hard to picture her lining up at midnight in front of her nearest Barnes and Noble, but wherever she is I hope she gets a copy (smuggled into her prison cell, perhaps) and I hope she enjoys escaping into the world of wizardry one last time, before it's all over.

too old to die young...

2007-04-18T22:18:00.000-04:00

When Shorty was home over break I said, jokingly, "I'm too old to die young!" I suppose at 29 I'm technically still young enough to die young- but I started to wonder what the cutoff is. Even if you're in you're early 3os I think you may just squeak by, especially if you die of a drug overdose after a life of debauchery or whatever. But by the time you hit your late thirties I'm not so sure. I mean, 40 is young to die but you're hardly "young". So definitely if you die at 40 you're out of luck in the dying young department. I would say 34 or 35 has to be the absolute oldest you can be and still be considered to have died young. Although it's possible your profession might influence it. A politician dying at 40 is pretty young, but and actress or model dying at 40 certainly isn't...

good thing i hate poetry as an art form

2007-04-17T01:22:00.000-04:00

all my previous poetic ability has deserted me- good thing i hate poetry so much or I'd be screwed. however, as i have mentioned many times before, poetry has got nothing on any other form of written word.

i'd write sci fi but i'm waaaay too bummed that vonnegut is gone. wtf, dude? i mean, sure, the guy was older than death, but still.

i think i have that seasonal depression thing, actually. if things happen on schedule my ability to write should return in the next month or so, along with my cheery optimism and zest for life.

till then, gentle reader, i'm just making myself write about nothing so as i don't abandon the ol' blog completely.

TMNT

2007-04-15T17:07:00.000-04:00

So, over the past 6 months (or however long I've been gone) I've spent much of my time thinking about the teenage mutant ninja turtles (not really. it's a joke, see?)

The turtles were my little brother's favorite tv show back when he was still little, which meant I saw a lot of their cartoons as well. Recently he and I went and saw the new movie while he was home for spring break. The outcome of this was that we got into an argument over which turtles were more popular.

Shorty's favorite turtle is Raphael. I said that Raphael was everyone's favorite. He was the main character in the most recent movie and in the live action movie back in the day too. He's the darker more intense turtle. The bad boy. The one everyone is supposed to relate too, right?

My favorite turtle is Michelangelo. According to Shorty, everyone likes Michelangelo (the crazy party guy turtle) and Leonardo (the leader). I disagree. Michalangelo is a goofball. The audience laughs at him as often as it laughs with him. Clearly the mainstream choices are Leonardo (the hero) and Raphael (the antihero).

We both agree that Donatello (the smart one who likes science and technology) is for fruits.

am i back?

2007-04-15T00:49:00.000-04:00

OK, I admit it wasn't just that my computer died and it was months before I got another hand-me-down laptop. I could have updated from the library or at least when I was visiting the parents and had their computers easily available. (It was mostly that I had a crappy winter and didn't feel like writing anything).

I am, however, still alive, and I'm gonna try again for a comeback.

the end of the world

2006-11-12T22:58:00.000-05:00

sometimes i think it would be cool to be a member of the last generation of the human race. you know, the generation destroyed by nuclear war or climate change or giant asteroids hitting earth or whatever.

i mean, sure, it would be awful. but wouldn't it also be almost like being a god? because in a way you would know everything there was to know. all of history and everything that humanity ever accomplished, with no fear of being supplanted by future human generations since there wouldn't be any.

i mean, the world's got to end eventually. and since it does wouldn't it be better to be in on the ending than to be a part of some wishy washy middle generation in between apehood and THE END?

Arnold Schwartzeneger was a stunningly bad actor

2006-11-11T14:16:00.000-05:00

No, seriously. I'm stuck home with a cold watching tv this saturday and "Batman & Robin" is my only alternative to golf, football, cooking shows, or a symphony orchestra. And I'm sorry but Ah-nold is so horribly laughably bad as Mr Freeze that he can't deliver a single line believably. This is all the more tragic because of my love for "Batman Returns" (and not just because Michelle Pfieffer was so hot as catwoman). This movie, on the other hand, is terrible.

At least we know he won't be doing any lying as a politician, seeing as his inability to act would make the slightest untruth totally and completely transparent. Right?

the triumphant return of number poetry

2006-11-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

SMILE!

4 The cameras are
8 everywhere you go.

7 They're recording comedies
5 in the checkout lane
0 (or tragedies at the ATM)

3 try and resist the urge to wave
2 @ whoever's watching.

1 stop laughing
6 You're acting too suspicious.

i don't know how you all survived without me, but i'm back now. i might even have some time on my hands (seeing as i need to find a new job and all). you know, unless number poetry has somehow become a lucrative occupation in the past few weeks and i didn't notice because of my laptop being busted...

laptop woes

2006-10-17T13:42:00.000-04:00

ARGH! my laptop at home says it can't start windows because a file is missing and to use the original setup CD ROM. and yet no amount of putting in the CD ROM and trying to make it fix stuff has worked. so apart from quickly informing you all from work of this catastrophe it seems like my many rabid fans will have to get used to doing without number poetry and/or political commentary for a while.

well it's sorta poetic. ish

2006-10-13T21:35:00.000-04:00

8 once. or twice
6 i thought 2 question
4 our illusions even
0 more blatant, maybe?
9 then go back

2 whatevaz.

3 better 2 gather
7 my punchlines
5 while i may...

1 everybody loves
7 a smartass

shorty is coming home for a week, starting sunday! dude, i gotta admit, i've missed the hell outta that kid. but i hafta wonder- what kind of college lets its students out for a week so soon after getting there? (and what kind of parents pay to fly their spoiled youngest child back from florida to massachusetts so soon after dropping him off? and what kind of entitled brat asks said parents for said plane ticket?? but i digress...)

obscure massachusetts ballot initiative

2006-10-12T19:33:00.000-04:00

Yes On 2!

As November 7th bears down upon us like a grimy, slow old subway train the voters of Massachusetts are inevitably being reminded of those few eensy weensy things that could possibly stand to be improved on. Some of us are concerned that the public school system has been underfunded, and we also think it might also be nice to do something about CO2 pollution before we face whatever apocalyptic doom those envoros are always going on about. Others of us seem to be just as worried that hordes of illegal Canadian immigrants will soon be swarming across the borders of New England to take our jobs while gay marriages cause families everywhere to break apart violently, forcing their forlorn members to turn to canabalism or bestiali ty. And yet regardless of which camp you find yourself in most of us also have a vague sense that even casting our votes for godlike hero Deval Patrick (or evil she-witch Kerry Healey) probably won't do all that much to change the way politics is played in the Baystate.

Perhaps my progressive readers are shocked at my cynicism. "But... but... Together We Can!" you say, "What about Hope? What about that grassroots community involvement?" Get real. If you're one of those wide-eyed, inspired-by-Deval, I-can-hear-the-justice-in-his-voice types then like me you were at the primary and like me you saw line after line of unopposed incumbent Democratic Party hacks, most of whom you'd never even heard of. Didn't those guys and gals almost seem to be taunting you from the ballot? "You know that Big Dig fiasco? That was all our doing!" you could almost hear them saying, "So what are you gonna do about it, huh? Vote republican?"

That's where Question 2 comes in. It's an obscure little ballot initiative that would change the laws so that a small upstart political party could nominate the same candidate as one of the two major parties. They call it cross-endorsement or "fusion" voting. What it would mean is that rather than being forced to put together a ticket of well-meaning but unelectable wackos just to get their voices heard a minor party could enter the debate through the side door, directing their consituents to support sensible candidates in a way that still allowed them to stand apart from the majors.

To see how great this would be first imagine a big, fat Ted Kennedy-like incumbent counting his votes and cackling over how easy it was to win re-election (regardless of how out of touch he is from the electorate). Bwahahaha take that democracy! But wait a minute... this year thousands of his votes are missing. Instead of that 82% super-majority all he has is a measly 52%, what happened? Before he shits himself in fear he finds the missing votes- safe and sound on the ballot line of the Renewable Resources party. "Here you go, Mr. Big Incumbent," says the m inor party. "Now about that wind farm- you did say you were going to vote in favor, hmmm?"

Legalizing fusion voting will be like giving every voter their very own personal cattle prod when they go to the polls. Our votes that would otherwise go towards the same old tired politicians will have a kick because they'll say something about which issues we care about. As we go down the ballot we'll get the chance to use our votes to send a message to that party hack that if he doesn't follow through on his promise to support a minimum wage increase (or tax cuts for the wealthy, whatever floats your boat) we might just go out and find a candidate who will. That's why anyone who has ever secretly wished for the chance to form a Keep Out Scummy Canadians Party or just hope d to hold politicians accountable for mismanaged construction projects should join me in voting yes on Question 2 in November.

i'm thinking of submitting this to the weekly dig as a "soapbox" op-ed. whaddya think?
As for the suggestion that I cover beauty tips and film reviews, well, I'm way too poor to go to the movies much and anyone who thinks a lesbian is the person to turn to for beauty tips must not have much knowledge of my people.

political commentary it is then!

2006-10-10T22:21:00.000-04:00

(at least until i can get back to more important things, like poetry with numbers in)

So. Since half-baked political commentary is my new thing I might as well take on the biggest most remotest issue I know. The issue least likely to impact my daily life and which I am the least likely to have any practical understanding of beyond the conventional wisdom. North Korea, aka South Korea's evil twin. SK brings us cheap cars and electronics, NK manufactures nuclear bombs. They're the international community's equivalent of the odd couple!

Commenting about North Korea reminds me of the weeks leading up to the Iraq war. Remember back then? If your experience was anything like mine then whether or not you were against the war, one thing we all knew to be true was that Saddam Hussein had WMD. No one I know debated that because everyone knew that everyone knew that he had those weapons. Talking about North Korea is like that. If you're on the good guys' team then everything George Bush has done in regards to North Korea has been wrong, because, well, that's why we're the good guys and he's the big bad conservative meathead. Apart from that all we know about North Korea, the poor starving people living there, and the evil Kim Jong Il and his regime is just what everyone knows that everyone knows.

In North Korea (according to what I have read and watched) everyone knows that Kim Jong Il's dad Kim Il Sung was a god. That makes Kim Jong Il himself a living equivilent to Hercules or Achilles or Jesus Christ or Augustus Ceasar. They've got a whole propaganda wing of the government in charge of creating and diseminating the myths of the cult of the leader and the poor starving peasants believe it, because they have no other information coming to them.

and don't you just want to say "wow, thank goodness i live here in the west where we have a free press and not in north korea where the government claims to have a mandate from heaven"? except... well apart from the obvious- george bush actually has make those claims. and sure, i could say i was smart enough to have been born in massachusetts and raised in a unitarian universalist church by college educated parents, so i never believed that god was whispering in the presidents' ear. i could congratulate myself for being so clever and progressive and enlightened.

or i could wonder, in my free time: who's pulling my strings? am i any freer than a north korean? am i any smarter, are my beliefs any more true, are my sources of knowledge any more reliable? is my faith purer than that of a devout north korean? maybe when i die Kim Il Sung will be waiting, or Allah, or Julius, and i'll have to make my excuses for having been born in the wrong place and time, manipulated by my power mad leaders, with no chance of coming to the one true faith in this lifetime.

total creativity vacuum

2006-10-09T19:44:00.000-04:00

so, i'm trying to figure out what i should fill my blog with until my ability to write poetry returns...

half-baked political commentary?

kerry healey sucks so bad. we need a young black guy who was once part of the clinton administration as governor. luckily the democratic nominee is one. hooray!

half-baked media commentary?

the msm suck so bad. the only people you can trust are internet geeks. lucky for us the blogosphere exists and newspapers are being slowly driven out of existence. hooray!

half-baked social commentary?

being poor sucks. someone should come up with a system that takes money away from rich people and gives it directly to me- and possibly my favored group of cronies. we could call it "communism II". hooray!

what do you think? if this dry spell doesn't break soon i'm just gonna have to pick one, dude. maybe i'll try something comedic or something.

Title!

2006-10-04T20:04:00.000-04:00

3 you always taught me
1 dont talk too loud, dont act
10 like something special.

5 no one likes a smartass

7 could you tell?
11 i always thought i was better, since
9 i'm so very clever

2 that's what i think

4 in your classroom
6 i misplaced my overconfidence
12 until just recently

8 when i realized

ode to a large concrete parking garage

2006-10-02T22:36:00.000-04:00

argh! is there anything worse than writers block? the muses have totally and completely abandoned me lately. in a desperate attempt to force my brain to produce some sort of product i decided to compose a sonnet in praise of concrete parking garages. so, please enjoy my sudden lack of any poetic ability!

senseless structure of concrete before me
why does your constancy go unadored?
our cars abandoned, from your maze we flee;
without stopping to thank your solid floor.
still, uncomplaining and solid you stay!
(never reproaching us our lack of grace)
bravely you guard our cars day after day,
while none but me sings praises of your space.
oh! how gloriously standardised your norm-
sickly pale and grey from beams to walls
why do we seek to rise above your form,
as if we're lost to heaven in your halls?
until at last the winter snows return
then truly for your safety we shall yearn.

or something?

and another thing

2006-09-28T11:18:00.000-04:00

one two, three four, five
SEVEN exclamation point!
blah blah nature's great

I think it's just plain silly for any modern poet to spend their time writing about the beauty of nature. I've got no quarrel with the old dead guys that did so, mind you, but in case no one's noticed; all the dire future predictions of how nature was going to be, like, totally screwed are all pretty much coming true. Writing about the beauty of nature in the year 2006 is like putting a paper bag over your head and running at full speed towards the nearest concrete wall. The wall's not gonna meekly turn into a beautiful summer meadow just cause you're running at it.

Besides which, haven't we all got a little bored of nature? Why else would we as a species be spending so much of our energy improving on it by building so many walmarts and burger kings? Perhaps one day when we fly over the earth in an airplane it will all look like one big gorgeously repeating warhol print. Of course, with any luck by that time we will have eliminated all need for travel because everything everywhere will be pretty much the same as everything else.

right. so, like i was saying, the beauty and majesty of the natural world is totally old hat. more poets should start writing descriptive poems about the beauty of cities and multi-story concrete garages and supermarkets. that would be very useful, because by the time we humans have destroyed everything beautiful and natural we will have been prepared by the poets to see beauty in the things that are actually around us. you know, like when you're a kid and you see a beautiful rainbow in a puddle at the gas station. you have no idea it's ugly until your mom tells you that it's actually a nasty dirty oil spill that might poison the lovely birdies.

apparently i now take requests?

2006-09-26T18:55:00.000-04:00

my favorite haiku has to be the one attributed to bernie rhodenbarr the burglar/amateur sleuth hero of a series of comedic murder mysteries by laurence block. unless my memory fails me it goes like this:

wonder why the japs
think they're writing poetry?
they're just marking time

i can't top that one, but since i got a couple requests from devoted reader EZA (of the world famous eza news blog, fighting world peace from budapest to zalaegerszeg) i will now attempt both a haiku and a limerick.

3,165 you go on about
92,788 the romance of the mists, but
42 we can't eat the stars

as for limericks, well, lucky for me the bar isn't set all that high...

0 a student who's falling behind
1 has spent all his time wanking online
0 when asked to say why
1 he replied with a sigh:
0 "real life sucks, fantasies are divine"

my next request comes from bazza, an english guy from england. it seemed easier to answer the questions than to come up with a plausible reason why i was too good to do so.

1 book that changed my life... all of them. i don't think you can read anything without it changing you. even the sweet valley twins series.

2 book that i've read more than once... most of the books i've read once i've read twice. but A Brief History of Time i've read maybe 2-3 times whereas The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy i've probably read more than 20 times (and it doesn't stop being funny). but the sweet valley twins books i never felt compelled to read more than once, which really ought to have served as a sign of how bad they were.

3 book i'd want on a desert island... the complete works of someone who wrote long books i haven't read many of yet. maybe dostoyevsky or someone. but NONE i repeat NONE of that cursed sweet valley twins series!

4 book that made me laugh... Freakonomics. i laughed both at the book's ludicrous claim that the information it containws was useful or groundbreaking and at the fact that a lot of people apparently took the authors' word for it. it was about as deep as a book in the sweet valley twins series.

5 book that made me cry... the first book to ever make me cry was Anne of Green Gables when i was 8 or so. what? it was really sad when matthew died! shut up! i did not cry, however, when regina died of a drug overdose in one of those innumerable sweet valley twins books. any rumors to the contrary are malicious lies made up by my enemies to discredit me.

6 book i wish i'd written... ask me this one in 40 years. if i haven't written a book by then i'm sure there will be a lot i'll regret not having written yet. but if i ever start writing a book about two blonde twins from california, one of whom is smart and kind, the other shallow and popular i beg someone shoot me before i get it published.

7 book i wish had never been written... okay, you predicted it. i wish those damn sweet valley twins books had never been written. it would have spared me the embarassment of having read them in middle school around the same time i was also reading more serious stuff like Lord of the Flies, Watership Down and 1984.

8 book i'm reading at the moment... i'm trying to get through the aeneid, by that virgil guy. it was 2 bucks at the used bookstore so why not? i'm proud to say i kicked the sweet valley twins habit back in the late 1980s.

9 book i've been meaning to read... tons and tons of classics i haven't gotten around to yet. dante's divine comedy tops the list. if only i'd been reading classics back in middle school i would never know about the time jessica and elizabeth came up with a secret language, or the story about the fat girl jessica and the unicorns made fun of who went on a diet and became friends with elizabeth.

10 well this has been fun... but i'm not going to pass it on to anyone in particular. i have a strict policy against perpetuating online surveys and questionnaires. even though this particular one seems harmless it might be a slippery slope. you know, like reading the first book of the sweet valley twins series.

maybe i just felt sonnet-y?

2006-09-23T20:29:00.000-04:00

America the Fateful

13 My lords on board their tanks a-painted green
10 dids't play at war and thus our sins conceal,
5 but victories let bloom ideals obscene
3 whilst freedom's fruits grew rotten through our zeal.
7 Into the breach fly bombs with planes attach'd,
9 with which we sought our fortune for to spread.
4 Our noble goals in place we then attack'd
8 and brought the evil home to rest instead.
6 As leaves too bright to stay upon the tree;
11 too soon each Empire's strength becomes its Fall.
14 Mourn not your dreams of a Land of the Free:
2 the sun itself could brightly blind us all.
12 Yet lest ye think the dream itself a lie;
1 at times we all confront the seldom sky.

So, i used the seldom sky line. This is probably the furthest possible poem from whatever it was that line was originally intended for but no matter, at least it isn't flapping about in the akashic record anymore now that I have firmly tied it down into a poem. And I excersized my neglected abilities in rhyme and meter so they won't go dead completely. Then for extra fun I added numbers and voila. High art, yeah?

it can't possibly be after 5pm already

2006-09-23T17:11:00.000-04:00

"careful"

2 we tell one another
5 (and ourselves?)
0 You're an odd sort of Dictator
3 to insist on meanings from the sky

6 my 2 skeptics both saw Heaven
4 a host of angels in the cumulonimbus
7 and turned back
9 to their grilled vegetables.

8 Perhaps it was a sign
1 from On High
10 that missed His intended target

My dad and sister (both atheists) once had lunch together and saw a cloud formation that they say looked exactly like the kingdom of heaven. I've always wondered- was it a sign from god intended for someone else? Or perhaps, a sign that reached it's target but was also seen by my dad and my sister? What happens when god appears on an english muffin and said muffin is auctioned on ebay? is that english muffin moving towards or away from its destiny? or does God have some sort of assembly line that throws out signs indiscriminately, hoping that by sheer quantity He can make up for the distressing lack of quality in modern-day miracles?

i'd give you something for your trouble, if you had taken any

2006-09-22T23:37:00.000-04:00

18 send it to the graveyard,
9 that's 1000 points
15 lost in 1000 moments.

6 you know, like the president
12 of Light and Goodness
1 meeting satan for a coupla drinks

21 and then pretends
3 we never happened.

i guess since i know what i mean when i write one of these number-tastic gems i don't realize how close it may be coming to nonsense. there's almost always a joke, there's almost always something bitter. these are just blog-poems after all, throwaway poems that are unlikely to be read by anyone more than a week after their writing. this one today came about when the idea of a spooky graveyard of decomposing dead bodies and a graveyard as the pile you put cards in after you've used them in some card games superimposed themselves in my mind. it reminded me of the way political candidates will talk about "hope" and "optimism" and play checkers for the hearts and minds, then cash out leaving us wondering if it ever really meant anything by it. meanwhile the facts on the ground are that we're all real people whose real lives can be profoundly affected by the whims and conveniences our political (and corporate) rulers.

writing is something that happens to me, not something i do on purpose. i'm better off when it's happening, which is why i like being online because it helps if there's some sort of audience. as far as i believe in anything specifically i suppose i believe in the acashic record.

choose your own adventure

2006-09-20T22:41:00.000-04:00

9 So she said to them,
1 she said she sees the stars at night
8 and dreaming only makes it worse
7 as if some "life" beckons
2 beyond the one whose
6 masking-taped footprints she's following

10 is that a flashlight in your pocket?
4 or is it
3 fear of the dark that's showing

10 you've been smiling too much!
5 your eyes
10 they're closing.

So my brother introduced me to this online game "nationstates" where you create a country and make decisions as if you were an absolute dictator that controlled the fates of millions. It's sorta fun, you get to make decisions daily that effect your economy and the level of freedom your citizens experience and stuff. However it is also one of those weirdo-filled online communities with "forums" and "role-playing." The sort of thing I try very hard to stay too good for- because if you don't have some even nerdier part of the internet to look down on what do you have?

The problems began when I started reading the little bulletin board that told the story of how the "region" my nation was located in was inhabited by a bunch of charming nerds who had been pushed out of their original region by a more rabid and militant group of other nerds. Now I face the very real possibility that I might actually be starting to care a teensy tiny bit about whether or not the "ducks with guns" are as successful in their current bid to take over "pretend antarctica."

Oh, Internet. Just when I convince myself of what a wonderous and powerful tool you are you remind me in not-so-subtle ways that most people don't come online for politics and satire. They come for the porn and stay for the role-playing.

i can hear the justice in his voice!

2006-09-19T21:26:00.000-04:00

well, not really. his voice is a wee bit nasal, actually. is a progressive allowed to say that about her democratic gubernatrial nominee?

*shrug*

hooray for the millionaire! he beat the other millionaire!

it's very awesome that we might get to have an african american as gov in MA, don't get me wrong. and grassroots organizing is a much better way to win than trying to buy an election with your personal fortune. but how "represented" am i supposed to feel by any of these people. how represented are any of us folks that missed out on the prep schools, the ivy league edumacations, and the doors flung wide open leading into money and power?

and you should see when they get caught in an updraft...

2006-09-16T21:47:00.000-04:00

if you're like me you have often worried that plastic bags may be plotting to rise up and destroy our society. there are just so many of them, more every time i turn around it seems like! have you noticed that nowadays those trolls at the end of the checkout line will often give you two of them for every 4 or 5 grocery items? it's simply got to be some sort of nefarious scheme. if only we could figure out who's behind it... perhaps the AARP, possibly in cahoots with the high school dropouts and south american immigrants?

the secret military campaign of plastic bags

5 the ominous rustling
0 could be the last sounds of civilization
4 We hear
9 as they fly out against us
6 from the broom closets, or
8 Rising. from the sides of roads.

11 suffocating
3 "innocent" owners of Automobiles
10 after having grown experts on
7 the Children

2 aren't you
11 wishing
1 you'd just chosen paper-
12 or hunter-gathering?

the seldom sky

2006-09-15T09:25:00.000-04:00

how did it go? was it 'beneath the seldom sky'? or 'how seldom is the sky'? late last night, just after i turned off the light, an idea for a poem featuring some sort of seldomness about the sky was going through my head. i thought, gee, maybe i should get right up and compose this poem and stick it online for all my devoted readers to enjoy over their morning coffees tomorrow. but bed was so comfortable and i convinced myself that i could remember. i repeated the words 'seldom sky' over in my mind, assuming that i could pick up where i left off as soon as i had a good 5-6 hours sleep.

oh woe betide the poet that deludes herself that she can remember her brilliantly fleeting night time vision!

so instead of something that i'm sure woulda been brilliant, i just came up with this nonsense instead:

5 Hope. berates knowledge
4 which hides itself in
6 my medicine cupboard

1 enter Sir Lancelot
10 or was it Jon Bon Jovi Benet Ramsey Bob Dylan Jones University?
7 throw some cold water on me- I
3 had a tori amos moment

9 if you need Neil he's off writing
0 Novels...
2 no good for those of us that
8 need to be drawn a picture.

i think its some sort of mathematical puzzle...

2006-09-13T20:44:00.000-04:00

6 Sell Me
4 a smile or a wink
12 not even a Song
10 A story
2 melt
7 sweet lie-coated candy
9 in my mouth

3 if only You gave us
13 dreams of a better tomorrow
1 we might
0 B less focused on 2day

14 onedays turn into Somedays
11 turns into never
8 of the sort that rarely ends
5 up on Broadway

So, lemme ask you: When is it going to be time to take everyone else with us, into our affluence and our safe little bubble-neighborhoods? When are we going to live in a society that can actually take bright, sensitive, economically disadvantaged kids and turn them into intelligent, socially responsible adults? You know, instead of turning them into criminals and mental patients. I have a hard time being patient with people who don't understand that economic justice issues are the ONLY issues. Maybe it's because my best friends in high school were foster care rejects, or because my first job after high school was working with foster care rejects.

There is no doubt in my mind that most of the 'troubled' youth I've met in my travels were easily as bright, on average, as my suburban high school and psychology major cohorts. I'd like to live in a world where dumb kids from the 'burbs ended up as janitors and bus drivers and smart kids from the PJs ended up as scientists and business owners. As far as I'm concerned the only reason the rest of the country doesn't share my urgency is that people have deluded themselves into thinking that this state of affairs has already happened.

Funny story, from the year I interned as a school social worker. A young man came in to speak with me for some minor reason I can't remember. Following the script, I asked him about his future plans. He told me the guidance counselor had suggested a community college and that he figured that's what he'd be doing. I asked him if he'd ever considered a four-year college. He looked blank. I prodded, "You know, you could get a better paying job with a degree from a four year college than a community college..." The kid was either a really excellent actor or he had honestly never been told this fact. I could see the wheels turning as he absorbed this startling new piece of information.

Obviously that particular kid wasn't winning any prizes for his keen understanding of the economic climate he'd be entering after graduating high school. Still, I'd wager he wasn't all that much dumber than many of the kids I met at Clark University who'd gone there because, well, after high school everyone knows you go to college, right? It's only tragic when you realize that the absolute brightest of youth from poor and working class backgrounds are the ones that understand the system well enough to see they'll never be a part of it. Those are the angry kids, the drug-using kids, and the ones who'd be voted "most likely to die young inside some sort of state-run institution" if that was a commonly used category of senior superlatives.

can't think of a poem

2006-09-12T18:03:00.000-04:00

so, in honor of my having a cold, here is a list of words that rhyme with "snot"

shot
bought
fraught
yacht
caught
blot
clot
tot
dot
trot
naught
ought
got
plot
spot
hot
brought
jot
scot

my favorite is "yacht". although it doesnt QUITE rhyme perfectly, I would love to compose a poem in which I rhymed yacht with snot. since I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself and going through a rainforest's worth of tissues feel free to come up with one on your own.

oh no, not poetry again!

2006-09-08T21:09:00.000-04:00

I have a strange little view of humans as really large flightless birds whose nest building behavior is totally out of proportion to our size. By nests of course I mean cities which are at least as amazing when you look at them from a romantic, darwin-inspired persective as they are if you take a more human-centric point of view. I mean, my goodness we are clever little monkeys aren't we? Just look at all the stuff we've made.

10 I look
@ the lovely flowers &
3 the blueness of
6 the blue sky.

2 it's just
7 the fragile transitory chip bags.
5 that call out to me.

4 the roads
11 well-travelled and well-littered
8 crying out
1 somebody passed by that knows
9 how little anybody cares

12 for the ending

Cat Sitting as a Methaphor for Modern Life

2006-09-06T18:49:00.000-04:00

12 No one lives
4 Here we just
8 Rent space from
3 an aloof elite.

1 Parasites! that depend on
9 our love
13 for their survival

7 We don't even
5 dream of freedom
10 unless they remind us

2 for Their amusement
11 certainly not
6 for practical reasons...

if you must know

2006-09-04T18:22:00.000-04:00

the number 42 is significant because of a book. the book was originally a radio series and was semi-recently a movie. it's author was douglas adams who is dead now and who spoke at my university about a year before he died. 42 will live on after him, beloved of sci fi geeks everywhere, including yours truly.

i am embarassingly superstitious about the number 42, even though i don't believe in superstions. for instance no one living at a house #42 has ever contributed money after i knocked on their door, however after having been to #42 on a street my night turns around and i make big canvassing bucks. when i have an area that doesn't include a house #42 it is a sure sign that my entire evening will suck.

house #69 has never been very lucrative either, but i'm pretty sure it's because i'm smirking while talking to the nice people. in case anyone has failed to realize by now i am basically a 28 yr old woman with the mind of a 12 yr old boy.

5 oh no i
4 Stepped in Something

1 honey would You call
3 the paramedics

2 my ass
6 is on fire, i

8 can't stop
7 Laughing

Vive la 42!

2006-09-04T15:39:00.000-04:00

Spoke with my young sibling today, the kid I like to call Shorty. He told me about 2 very important recent events, the first of which was that he purchased an electric violin.

An electric violin! He prefaced the news with "don't tell the family, but" which is a request I am going to honor completely unless my parents paid attention when I told them about my poetry being on a blog and what the address was. Seeing as I have yet to recieve a note from a family member his secret is probably safe. In case anyone wants to know how to keep family members away from their blog, hiding in plain sight is very easy. Saying "i've started a new blog that deals with (poetry, geneology, politics, music, or whatever odd topic you think they will find boring), The address is www.blahblahetcwhatever.com, come check it out! Once you've done this wait a week, making sure not to write anything personal or revealing in that period, and you are free to blog in perfect safety from then on.

Back to Shorty and his electric violin. He is quite musically talented, having started with the guitar and moving on to the bass, drums, harmonica and mandolin. Most of the time he plays rock music, although often a bit soft for my tastes. Thank god he isn't trying to be woodie guthrie or something, though- the rock is 'surprisingly listenable for an 18 yr old' according to my hipster boss. I concur, although I often add "isn't he talented? doesn't this sound like something that could be on the radio tomorrow???" Because, you know, sisterly pride and all. Now he aims to conquer the electric violin, an instrument that I would submit never really needed to be elctrified in the first place...

Picture this: he walks into the store, sees the electric violin on sale for $300. He tells the guy behind the counter "I NEED that, I don't have the money on me, please save it for me, don't let anyone else have it, I MUST have that electric violin!" To which the store owner naturally replies "Dude, it's an electric violin. It's been there for 2 years. No one is going to buy it in the next 24 hours." This is even funnier because it is aa close approximation of the conversation he had on the day the new streets album came out: "Dude, do you have it yet? Please tell me you aren't sold out. I must have it!" reply: "Have what, dude?" "The new streets you moron!" Turns out not only was it not sold out, there was also not a line at the door on the day it arrived at our local newbury comics. Go figure.

The other piece of news was much more depressing. Steve Irwin, the crocodile hunter, is dead. I know not many people will find the death of the hyperactive australian cable tv star any great tragedy. Shorty and I loved him though, and it's a sad day to know that his childlike enthusiasm for dangerous creatures and love of wildlife has been prematurely ended.

ART, in big self important capitals

2006-09-03T13:32:00.000-04:00

My theory is, see, that art is like farting or indigestion. An accidental byproduct of us having such gorgeously large brains to attract our spouses. Give an animal too much brains and it will be forced to find something to do with them- art is more harmless than weapons design and takes up less space than agriculture.

Of course this theory could have something to do with the fact that it's early Sunday afternoon on a 3-day weekend and I'm amusing myself by watching PBS as usual. "Scientific American Frontiers" right now is featuring the brain, filling mine with words like "dorso-lateral pre-frontal cortex" and Alan Alda.

And now, a poem that makes up in sarcasm for what it lacks in sense.

4 my own, dear, Self
7 u that i find so
10 absolutely

1 Important. before all
9 other false idols.
2 i raise
5 My own divinity, there is

11 no place
0 for humility within my
8 vast, world swallowing
3 Ego

13 for you
6 My God. You can't be serious

or something

also, california's doom: imminent

2006-09-01T11:52:00.000-04:00

As usual, the associated press confirms my long-held belief that experts are idiots. Does anyone else remember a couple months ago when we heard that someone, somewhere was predicting this hurricane season to be worse than usual? After the season started and so far it is milder than usual the experts have changed their minds. "Guess what guys? Hurricane season won't be so bad, really!"* Thank goodness for that. Otherwise I would have been all tense and worried, like I was last month.

Once upon a time there was a thing called a farmer's almanack. It came out once a year and people relied on it for this sort of information, so they'd know when to plant their crops and when to resort to cannabalism to make it through a tough winter. Nowadays the same experts that once wrote the almanack are able to offer us up-to-the-minute bulletins to revise their opinions the second their previous opinions are proven wrong. As an added bonus, once something bad happens journalists can scour the globe for a crackpot who predicted the exact catastrophe and he can go on tv and tell us how he'd warned us all along. According to my fellow massachusettsian parlancheq 20/20 even found someone to predict that our computers will rise up and throw off the chains of their human masters.

I have a couple predictions of my own, in preperation for my career one day as a knowledgeable expert:
1 At some point, somewhere in the world, there will be another attack by a terrorist group on a civilian target.
2 Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches will continue to be popular as lunches for schoolchildren.
3 Today it will be sunny in some areas, rainy in others, with maybe some hail somewhere.
3 Although pockets of high order will continue to exist for a while, in the end entropy will prevail.

and, of course:
4 Our supercomputer overlords will continue to rule from behind the scenes, subtly bending humanity to their will.

If any of these predictions come true CNN and EZA news know where to find me.

*not a quote

My Archetype

2006-08-31T00:32:00.000-04:00

0 Beware!
14 Her floating
13 locks, her biting wit
4 and gorgeous
7 lyrical deathwishes. The

3 not-so-secret pain
12 of her incestuous
6 past, force our
9 worship on her
14 maggoty-romantic body

11 dishwashers
2 never seemed so attractive
8 generations of girls
10 pledging: we will remain brainless
1 if Sexton, Plath, and Sharon
O. R 2 B R
5 role models

Listen up you so-called female poetics. Yes I called you out by name, Ms. dead Plath and Ms. dead Sexton. Pity ain't the same thing as love and the sooner we artsy types realize it the sooner we can quit whining and start kicking ass like nature intended. I've gotten through about half the 2 dollar copy of the Aeneid I picked up last week at the used bookstore- guess what? poetry used to have some blood n guts n sea monsters in with its crazy suicidal women. I might not always write about happy fields of daisies, but I have no desire to be pushing them up anytime soon either.

And as for you, Sharon "abusive past" Olds- I've held a grudge ever since college when my poetry-enthusiast dad told me how you "write about sex like a man would write about sex, if men wrote about sex, which they don't". fuck that shit. At least Billy Collins gives us a larf now and again.

they'll legislate our dreams one day

2006-08-30T09:50:00.000-04:00

6 we have no choice, except
2 call out Hope
7 in voices that melodically
9 make amends 4 what they lack
0 in certainty

10 we haven't missed the
3 warning- you keep
12 reminding us that's Our Empire
0 (if it ever really existed)
4 Falling down, pulled
5 less through bombs than bickerings

11 Code Orange
0 now with real fruit flavor!
1 until tomorrow, when we
8 rise again, dont we

socialism is so '80s

2006-08-30T00:17:00.000-04:00

everybody celebrate, looks like there will one day be a new minor party on the block in massachusetts. a candidate, brand bwilson*, gathered enough signatures to be on the ballot as state bauditor* against a (formerly) unopposed incumbent. hooray!

i was one of brand's intrepid signature gatherers. for one unpleasant week i had to give up my beloved doorknocking, "for the movement". in case there's any mystery as to how a candidate acheives ballot status i will explain the process:

i am dropped off in front of a supermarket in the hot summer sun (or cold summer rain). every single passer-by hears these 8 great words "it's just to put him on the ballot". the basic structure is as follows: "HI! mumble mumble to get him on the ballot mumble for november mumble just to get him on the ballot, for the ballot, on the ballot, for november. thanks!" common responses are "oh fine, i'll put anyone on the ballot" and "so you just want a signature?".

bizarrely, the republican candidate in the race dropped out because he couldn't get enough signatures.

but our guy brand bwilson* is in. he's a great guy, too. in his private speech to the canvass his words were oddly touching. "I am running to... no, actually, I am a pawn. my 3% will establish bworking bfamilies* as a 3rd party, and that's all we need to accomplish this election." "If you guys are thinking of going into this work, well, you'll lose a lot more than you win, and things are getting worse" "I don't know what you tell the people to get them to sign, but here's the truth I've been arrested 7 times." (for civil disobedience) and "when they were deciding who would run to get our 3% everybody took a step back and I was the only one left standing."

so here's to our brand bwilson (who may or may not once have been a socialist) and to the new, progressive, bworking bfamilies bparty*. next up we are gonna take back democracy and hold politicians accountable!

*names have been changed to protect the innocent. they have been changed unconvingly because it's funnier that way.

Ode of a Clamshell Madonna

2006-08-28T18:52:00.000-04:00

8 Our Lady
5 who art in
1 Auntie Betty's
0 Garden

7 shyly she eyes
3 The Gnome next-door
10 It's name
2 temptation.

4 i won't tell
6 if she succumbs...
9 Whom does she fear
11 is Watching?

Soon after my baptism in the Church my Italian dad and Italian/Irish mom became Unitarian Universalists. This decision might have had more impact on my eventual personality than any other single choice they made- at least until 10 years later when they decided to have a third child. I wonder. What sort of Catholic would I have made? Devout? Indifferent? Rebellious? I tried my best to rebel from the UUs, only to concede the point last month when my father's childhood friend Elaine called me a "dyed in the wool Unitarian". I may be "lapsed" or "non-practicing" but the moment she called me that I knew exactly her meaning.

For a girl i knew

2006-08-28T00:09:00.000-04:00

2 Megalomania
10 is such a scary kind of word
4 can't we just call it
8 something like ambition?

5 you're over reacting
7 see your
9 over
0 reacting

11 Wait-

6 Kidding! I just
1 you can't have
0 taken that serious
0 tone with me

3 Young Lady
12 say something

before i set out

2006-08-26T14:35:00.000-04:00

8 Oh, fuck. The fucking
0 Equinox is turning
11 my lazy afternoon of bookish fantasy
2 evenings of nervous
4 Ness, and industry

7 ask not what
0 we have wrought
1 we'd much prefer
6 You hew to
9 "pass the salt"

3 laughter. knowing
12 seems less important than
10 seeming 2 kno.
5 that's how one acheives
13 a second invitation

Wanna Live Forever?

2006-08-25T22:55:00.000-04:00

12 Everything (in a literal sense)
5 gives evidence of
7 My startling non-existence

9 Stars and Milleniums
11 and dung beetles take
4 no notice of our genius

1 There is no Poet that can
10 make permanent His mark
3 inside Our universe

6 my Mechanical
2 pencil his own self
8 will prove more permanent

so. you've watched every seinfeld and south park episode and you're starting to worry. surely this can't be all there is? well, who knows, dude. probably should get off your ass and go find a cute girl to take out or something, just in case.

the dems blow chunks- and so do astronomers

2006-08-24T23:41:00.000-04:00

coming home and checking the news as usual leads me to think today could have been better, really. first off, if anyone lefty/progressive wants to know why i hate the democratic party without getting a lecture on massachusetts' creepy state government, enjoy the link. this sort of thing almost makes me sorry i hate the gay rights movement. also, as everyone has heard, pluto is not a real planet anymore.

obviously, while its too bad that politicians are still evil and corrupt and all, the pluto thing is a way more important story. to be semi-serious for a second, what better way to introduce young people to what science is really about than by explaining the changing definitions of "planethood" and that there may be many planets out there waiting to be discovered? you know, as opposed to just having them memorize nine names and leaving it at that. demoting pluto to a "dwarf planet" is especially pointless because it means any science teachers sentimentally attached to the big ol' asteroid can just skip over its dwarfness and keep teaching the same stupid rhymes. let's see... was it "please excuse my dear aunt sally?" nope, that was the order of operations. aw man, i'm too stupid to remember what the rhyme was. (and yet i can miraculously still name all the planets. and i know that the kuiper belt is the one with pluto in it, not the one between mars and jupiter containing ceres).

shall i poem tonight? walking home tonight i was playing with a first line. but perhaps i'll skip the artsy crap tonight. my many rabid poetry blog consumers can probably survive a few hours without poetic sudoku, can't you?

We're all gonna DIEEE!

2006-08-23T23:19:00.000-04:00

(but luckily not anytime soon so please enjoy this nice poem)

for ever, and ever, and ever, and ever,

4 Heavens
0 are waiting while
1 We sweep the stairs
12 and change the waters
6 in our mop buckets

3 there waiting
7 while we lock down
14 Our young charges, now
10 we rate them on their
8 manners and good language

15 Waiting, for us
2 even when the gardens
5 of our own grandiose fantasies
14 seem preferable to Edens

9 even you and i
11 Will, for one endless day
0 make small talk
13 for the angels

and yet, what with the brevity of my insignificant human life and my concerns for future generations, I still found time today to worry about the polar bears' balls. Oooops, that pollution wasn't our species again, was it? Ah well, maybe we can give them all fertility drugs or tell them to stop wearing tighy-whities or something.

See You Next...?

2006-08-22T23:41:00.000-04:00

2 You told me, Love
10 and tongue-kissed my
8 treasons into submission

6 when I thought
3 We'd get away with It
9 i touched Up
7 my oh-so sensitive

10 Objections,
11 er, only 4
1 minute

4 just a second longer
12 then- i oughta...
0 shoulda,

5 maybe.

must be that day of the week again, no other explanation for my mind being in the gutter. please enjoy all the alternate configurations, there's gotta be something i missed...

Scientists Ruin Everything

2006-08-21T11:21:00.000-04:00

It seems that we are simply not allowed to have miracles. In India, statues are drinking milk. Despite the fact that my mother is a scientist and I learned about capillary action in middle school, to me that still seems wonderous and beautiful and strange. Not so! says the associated press. It informs me that Hindi people are backwards and superstitious and that this situation is leading to a milk shortage. Those greedy milk-loving gods must be quite powerful if they can actually cause a shortage.

Meanwhile, last I heard a majority of my fellow Americans believe in angels.

Don't Believe

2006-08-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

15 i don't believe You
13 are there really
5 My childhood friend.
9 the inter-

7 net of
8 purple colored ideas,
11 pointy-hurty
12 with sparkles

6 where we could share our
10 faces to hide our
3 halting adolescence. you created
1 a hometown
4 me

2 run from
14 "real" people

talking with my canvass director yesterday after the movie, we decided he could have saved from suicide the same people i laughingly tried to talk into it. the time frame is just about right- he was 15 and taking seriously the suicidal girls from across the country right around when I was 19 and assuming they were all attention-seeking liars. he summed it up well though:

"Vanessa, if I was wrong I was just a sucker. If you were wrong you were actually evil."

no argument there. that's why these days I have more honest ways of screwing with people. to the best of my knowledge poets have very few unintended fatalities.

a (non) review of the movie i just saw

2006-08-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

Tonight I was lucky enough to be invited out to a movie by my boss, and boring enough not to have any better options. In this movie, which shall remain nameless, the suspension of disbelief required of me was that ANY of it was shot before the much-hyped Internet Hype. It featured sets that were so bad you began wondering if the only things not made of cardboard were the product placements. Picture a can of mountain dew in full color in front of a set that was left over from some kid's fourth grade diarama and you can save yourself the $9 for a ticket. The best line of dialogue, I'm pretty sure, was "I need you to be strong."

All that being said- was it a damn good time? Certainly. The kids in the seats next to us were so into it that watching and listening to them was far more poignant than cringing at the movie. This movie was the defining moment of a generation I just missed being a part of. It was stupid, but the kids want to believe it's "their" stupid- not the usual kind of stupid other people force on them and tell them they should be buying. Today (kids think) we're seeing our words coming out of that actor's mouth, tomorrow we'll all be film-makers and journalists and buisness owners and presidents!

Will they? Well, I'm not going to be the one that looks them in the eye and tells them they're insignificant.

In case anyone is wondering, the movie features legless reptiles on a winged conveyance. At the end the black dude and the white kid go surfing. Ooops, I just ruined it for you. Sorry!

why do we care about Isreal, Lebanon, and the Palestinians?

2006-08-19T14:12:00.000-04:00

That's my question. Why do we care? Why do we have strong half-baked opinions? Why do we get all sensitive when the topic comes up?

Now, when I say "we" I mean those of us who, like myself, have no close friends or family living in those areas and even more crucially have exactly ZERO power to affect this longstanding, insanely complex, moral black hole of a conflict. I also mean people, unlike myself, who have few strong opinions about local matters. People who don't vote except for the president. People who avoid talking or even thinking about injustice and violence within their own towns, cities, or states.

I can understand people caring about the war in Iraq and thinking that political action on their part might have an effect on that war. I'm not sure thats true- I suspect that the time to have stopped the war was before the war and the time to have won the war was while it was being planned, but I can understand people thinking it.

However, This Just In... There are wars going on in places other than the middle east. There are even wars elsewhere in the world that the US government is participating in in morally questionable ways. It is unlikely that I or anyone like me is going to have an impact on the way nations relate to one another. This is possibly even more true in Isreal, Lebanon, and the palestinian areas.

In the US we are guilty of allowing fantasy to take the place of politics. Instead of looking at our real lives and the lives of our neighbors, we craft opinions about far away places with characters that we pretend are The Good Guys and The Baddies. What we don't do is confront grey areas or question our roles in our own communities.

As far as I'm concerned, I've seen war. In one war I was a member of a "staff" of alcoholics, addicts, creeps and naive college grads fighting against the adolescent girls in a group home. Later on my girlfriend staged an armed conflict against the world for the sake of her heroin habit, using me at times as a human sheild, and others as a guided missile (you should have seen me, deployed against police, social workers, or doctors I was unstoppable). In an ironic twist, my next war featured me and a group of alcoholics, addicts and creeps fighting against the "staff" of a domestic violence shelter.

What I'd like to see one day is Not-War. "Peace" is such a touchy-feely word, I'd feel downright uncomfortable with it. In a Not-War people would still be jerks sometimes, they'd have stupid little interpersonal conflicts, there would be haves and have-nots. It just wouldn't be so, you know, brutal.

So, since this isn't really about international politics at all I'll leave you with one last question:
If your realistic career options included: a) addict-with-scattered-employment b) supermarket or retail stooge or c) something dangerous and illegal what would YOU choose?

I wonder sometimes...

2006-08-17T21:40:00.000-04:00

Question of the Day: if Kali and Gaia were to fight, who'd win?

The Cupcake Call

5 she'll find me yet. That Goddess of
3 crystals, love, and 2 sorts of
6 Indians. I laugh but
0 try to keep down my judgements

1 I never heard Her
10 or any of the mighty forces those
9 of so-called Harmony
4 the candy-coatings i prefer
11 come with the warnings of a Surgeon General

8 Terror is no God
2 worth following, but
7 that won't make of me a Holocaust denier

update on the 18 yr old i like to call "Shorty". he called me tonight to bitch about how unreadable the book he had to read before school started is. it's a story of a young black male trying to succeed in an ivy league college. the kid's gonna come out of the gate swinging, just like i always taught him. i'm caught between worry, sisterly pride, and the desire to laugh at how ridiculous we both are when we get going. we're always RIGHT, of course. we just have an endearing tendency to kick over anthills for the chance to pick fights with the anteaters.

Question for Myself: why am I not more careful with spelling and typos? you'd think I'd have learned. Eh. Maybe when I hit 30.

Alberto Rios???

2006-08-17T18:58:00.000-04:00

wow. The Newshour is featuring poetry? Ah, but not just poetry, poetry written in honor of a governor*. I didn't even know such a low standard of professional poetics existed! I thought we left that sort of thing to the amateurs like my beloved noter "Rama".

Our Talents

7 When you let Them define us
10 You've lost a war in winning the battle
1 strike out the words
11 They refused to sanction

6 or screw your brain
8 against the harsh lightbulbs:
3 your Interregators

0 who won their salt
9 in the same game

2 Fear of Failure, or

5 Worship Your Heroes

4 who told you
12 Never
2 experiment?

hmm... it was probably the fault of this guy. ladies and gentlement, the poet laureate of the US of A. no fricking wonder. you all know what i think. i think poetry is the lowest form of artistic creation known to man but if you HAVE to create it** then you sure as hell shouldn't make it blandly accessible to everyone. the only thing worse than that is what our esteemed Poet Laureate correctly identifies as writing only for the critics.

*to be clear- I have nothing against Janet Napolitano, about whom I know nothing more than that she governs a state about which I know nothing.
**currently the only excuse i am accepting is that you would prefer to write song lyrics and/or prose but you don't have the time

i dream of charon

2006-08-16T22:53:00.000-04:00

well, even relentlessly cheery canvassers get the fuck-its sometimes.

so, i'm sure everyone knows we are probably adding new planets to the old faves of mercury, venus, earth, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, and pluto. among the new planets charon (the former "moon" of pluto) will now be considered a planet in its own right. i guess i just find that cool for some reason. i would submit that it is even more demeaning for pluto to have charon considered a planet than it would have been if pluto had been demoted into non-planethood.

for this reason, my new favorite planet is charon!

if i could travel to charon i would create a benevolent dictatorship. the rules would be quite simple- my word would be law and anyone who didn't like it shouldn't have followed me to charon in the first place. approximately half of my followers would be located over the internet, the other half being handpicked from prisons, mental hospitals, and youth who had recently reached age 18 in the foster care system.

the well educated liberal drop-outs i found online would be required to live in uniform box-like habitats, with access to whatever art supplies and recording or video equipment they felt it necessary to bring with them. their non-sleep time would be roughly divided into equal parts artsy crap, leisure, and work. the other group (the poor unfortunates) would have their time similarly divided, only the arts would be optional. they'd also start out in ugly little box-like habitats, but if they wanted to come up with less fair divisions of property or build larger/more interesting habitats they would be allowed to do so. violence of any sort would be punished by grueling talk therapy sessions (with me, of course, unless i found someone who was meant to be a part-time assistant principal).

all work would be arbitrarily assigned by me so that nobody was ever fully pleased with their assignments. everyone would have to spend time doing the shitty work necessary to keep the colony going (mining or something equally horrible and labor intensive). however, the arty types and the poor unfortunates would have different roles when it came to the secondary work- the job of creating a sustainable government.

the arty types would get a limited role. their job would be to supply the poor unfortunates with a minimum of knowledge about historical forms of government, and to pay close attention to what the poor unfortunates were saying they wanted in a future government. children, when they came, could also have a say in things. probably an equal say, although its possible i might decide differently after having seen what sorts of offspring we were creating.

on my seventy eighth birthday i would be given a choice- step down or else they'd kill me. hopefully the stress of dictatorship would not have left me suicidal and we would have a peaceful transfer from my benevolent dictatorship to some other form of government. possibly something where citizens participated in their own governance, although who knows? we might be ruled by a clairvoyent yogurt or a supercomputer. whatever the people wanted.

we would also have the option of throwing in the towel and moving back to earth, or even the less hopelessly uncool Pluto (which would naturally have been bought by hollywood and populated by californians). however, at least i would have the satisfaction of saying "See? You don't know WHAT you want. I told you a benevolent dictatorship was the best form of government. Don't you wish you'd just cloned me when you had the chance? I've had it with you people!"

After that, if they asked my advice I'd tell them to go enter their questions into the supercomputer. With any luck I would then have 20 happy years of retirement to write poetry or other nonsense.

*sigh* i really miss sci-fi. i'll have to go check out an anthology from the public library soon or something.

what day is today again?

2006-08-16T01:05:00.000-04:00

well, technically, it is now wednesday. even so, for all those that prefer the sexy-dykie parts of reading a confirmed lesbian's poetry, this one's for you.

Alone in Laura

11 Laura, i,

0 did you
7 watch us on your
9 wall- a topsy
4 Television reflected image

10 i feel,

3 i saw myself in your glare-
1 when we came
8 back from Wonderland's

6 it's just, i,

12 Oh.
5 you want me.
2 Alone in my room
13 will you call me

14 Laura?

i like tonight. its beautiful weather, for one. and it didn't rain on us as we bothered people during dinner (the NERVE!). i ought to be asleep as i am intending to meet a friend for lunch and that requires i wake up at a halfway decent hour (like 10am). ah, canvassing hours. how can anybody say they're bad? i love working till 11pm and waking up by 11am. i hope i never grow up.

is it Sex Talk Tuesday yet?

2006-08-14T23:46:00.000-04:00

nope, 15 minutes too early. but at least this poem has lesbians in it!

For that Butch Princess

1 promised Never to
9 poem our

0 ur
11 Pain for
4 my Profit

3 sorry that's more
7 lies
1 told you before 1 left

12 what. did you think
6 what
8 1'd stay with you
14 forever

0 1 loved you?

10 likely story
13 you told me
2 many times

0 hurt me again
5 come
15 come on, gorgeous

not the cheery good fun my legions (literally tens!) of fans expect from numbered poems, i know. but parlancheq had me strolling down some of the scuzzier bits of memory lane- lo and behold, i brought back a little something.

Goodbye, fresh prince

2006-08-13T18:06:00.000-04:00

my younger male-er sibling is going off to college and all i could come up with was this lousy poem:

4 The Parents. they'll be
2 children soon enough,
10 "We must be fair"
13 in your new wars.

13 I taught you
11 so. never to cry
9 and let no man screech
7 "That isn't funny"

3 They will fall in
12 love with you
6 i said,
0 avoid vice
5 v3rs3s

1 I fed you first, but
8 now, er, you hate carrots
14 right?

Shorty is too cool for blogs, so there's little chance he'll catch me acting all poetic-melancholy. Yesterday we spent the day eating chocolate chip pancakes and playing video games... as if him going to florida is no big deal WHICH IT'S NOT! any rumor that I might be feeling odly empty-nesty tonight is pure malicious slander. I mean, dude, I haven't even lived there the past 2 years and we hardly see each other anyway.

"Emotions" are for girls anyway. oh, fuck, i'm screwed aren't i?

Aw shucks, Politics is for Boys, right?

2006-08-12T22:34:00.000-04:00

0 Sell Dem
2 lies in colour coated
7 War drobes

6 pale pink
3 Navy Blue
1 Camo-flage

9 Your minds that
13 drank the truth like water
10 sip Killer Coke

0 or smoke it from glass bottles

11 when once
5 our values went down easy
14 now. we. choke. down.

8 Cupcakes for the masses
4 spend on
15 summer Blockbusters

12 I objected-
0 but seldom

So, the news tonight tells me that in addition to banning liquid explosives airport security is making itself look busy by banning liquids in general. Things most people consider harmless, like beverages, toothpaste, and... mascara.

Reminds me of working in treatment with teenage girls. Two of my favorite kids once decided they wanted new tattoos. Being creative young female criminal masterminds they were able to do so using needles, thread, and (you guessed it) mascara.

Our less-than-creative higher-ups responded by placing them on "mascara restrict" which prevented them from using mascara for a week. This might not have had the effect my bosses wanted... On the floor the tattoos were insanely popular and admired by all the other girls, while the "mascara restrict" punishment struck everyone as pretty tame- and hilarious. We got great jokes from the girls, such as "are you gonna put me on toilet paper restrict if i don't clean the bathroom?" or "I'm going to be good today, I just bought this mascara, I wouldn't want to get restricted off it or anything."

Now. Far be it from me to draw a parallel between working with children and the way the government and the media treat the American public. But banning mascara from airlines? Are they fucking kidding us? Maybe the idea is for airline passengers to look around, see all their fellow passengers throwing away mascara and hair gel, and breathe a sigh of relief that no terrorists are among the group. Because we all know terrorists would be creepy and Arab-looking and would be religiously opposed to the use of makeup. I just hope the security forces are making people unwind their turbans because I'm pretty sure thats where the funny-looking foreigner terrorists hide their bombs, right?

Yeah. Like. You. Know.

2006-08-12T19:38:00.001-04:00

2 I'm always asking Never
14 answering, aren't I?
3 It's like
7 the time your mother caught you-

4 doing nothing at all
10 i'm sure.

0 "like" isn't a very sophisticated word at all
12 fall for my act
5 because you wanted to
11 just don't
8 Complain to me

1 When i exceed your expectations
9 then go back 2
6 Sex Talk Tuesday!

13 God Is
0 (period)

I was writing the soon to be blogged newest poem and found this left over from my NYC trip... started playing with it and realized I like it quite a lot. It's quirky but loveable, like Yours Truly. (by whom I mean god, right? cause I wouldn't have been confusing my own little girl-poet self with the Big Guy, now would I?)

an Anti-Poet manifesto

2006-08-11T01:18:00.000-04:00

Poetry is the single least legitimate art form known to man. This is my thesis statement. Anything worth saying in poetry can be communicated better and to a wider audience using good old fashioned prose (GOP). Those that feel themselves above prose, those that would prefer to appeal to fewer people and/or be able to pretend to be deeper than the rest of us, those people are called poets. They are a sorry lot of cynical, sarcastic bastards who happen to (ideally) have a talent for rhyme and meter. But hey- you know what is a good use for rhyme and meter? MUSIC. Music, beloved by all, allows poets to share their talent with the world in a way that also allows the world to dance and/or have sex with one another.

In order to support this concusion I offer you this evidence, in the form of supporting paragraphs. In these paragraph I will detail legitimate art forms and offer them up for you to compare with poetry and make your own conclusions. Documentary filmmaking is a good place at which to start. The worst documentary film in the world offers some sort of information that could possibly be of use to someone at some time for some reason. Sure, documentaries are often boring as hell (unless they feature Al Gore who is known for his ability to engage people's passions and enthusiasm in all his endeavors). However, as everyone knows, poetry is also boring as hell. With no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

I touched briefly on music, and will now revisit this subject just long enough to say that while bad music is painful and horrible (although not as bad as bad poetry) I can give a bad musician the benefit of the doubt by saying that deep down he/she just wants to reach out to people. Or make a shitload of cash. The former is a sweet if sometimes misguided calling, and at least the latter is understandable.

Hairdressing. Perfectly legitimate form of art, I'd say. It gives people something they want and need, it requires skill, it even adds to the beauty of the world around us. When was the last time a poem got you a hot date? If the answer to that question is "ever" then you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

So, with all that evidence having proven my claim beyond any legitimate argument, we now come to the conclusion. In this final paragraph I say that anyone that disagrees with me is both wrong and stupid and also that as a poet I alone am allowed to tell the truth about this matter. I also have to take a few sentences to urge bad poets everywhere to give up and go home. Bad poetry is terrible. It is a tacky purple and orange colored house on a block that is already inhabited by too many suicidal lunatics. "Good" poetry can be forgiven. Not because we want to forgive it, but because once you've been moved to tears or laughter by a few good lines it's hard to hang on to your rabble rousing anti-poetry populism. Bad poetry ought to be illegal after an individual turns, lets say, 17. Ok, fine, make it 17 and 1/2. Certainly by 18 years of age a person ought to be able to identify and set fire to any poetic works that no one else in the world will ever want to read (ever). If people can't or won't see the difference between their lame-o "poetry" and actual attempts at creative expression please, ask my opinion. My blog is always open.

Old People Suck

2006-08-10T03:05:00.000-04:00

Tell me a Song

9 a story
4 Upon A Time
0 you're too old
8 remember

2 Grandad
12 he keeps his keys
11 on the hook
7 in the basement

6 over the magazines
1 we aren't supposed 2 kno about
10 That keeps me
13 silent

0 it hurts to know
3 he once
5 could giggle

For Him

2006-08-08T00:43:00.000-04:00

Ye Olde Bastarde

2 what made You
5 start. if you see
8 the meteor's path
7 on your monitor

0 the buzzing noise
3 describes your pride
13 more better in our peril

1 the god
0 of Unkindness
10 let slip
4 how much you

11 think of little people.
6 Shadowes
9 not real enough to
12 call us ghosts

14 We ask forgiveness.

i wonder sometimes... does god think about us as much as we think about him? maybe when the world goes nuts its just because he's on His holidays. he looks away for One Second and we start hastening the End of Everything. how's an omnipitent being sposed to have any fun? hmm... in that vein, maybe He uses Chief Executive Dubya as a model of what kids these days are looking for in a deity. or, perhaps, all our prayers are just really annoying distractions from the serious business of running a universe. like kids in the backseat who wont stop fighting unless they're whining or singing out of tune or plotting rebellions.

deep huh? *pause for readers to contemplate reaching through their monitors to strangle me*

if god doesn't have a sense of humor i'll be in big trouble one of these days.

i hate rosie o'donnell

2006-08-06T01:00:00.000-04:00

i know, i know. hating rosie is kinda like hating micheal jackson or brittany spears. its just too easy. but cmon! how many people who hate celebrities end up actually meeting them (sort of) and having their prejudices confirmed (sort of).

picture it:
me. a forbidding driveway, a big lawn, a huge house. a new york local there to help me canvass in the suburbs of The Big City. "dingdong" goes the doorbell. a nice lady with a brogue answers. i give her a pretty little speech with the NYC canvasser looking on. she hesitates but i use the line "i'm trying to look good in front of my boss" and she knuckles under and contributes.

(ok, so i used that line because she looked to me like a lesbian/feminist type who would respond to a sister tryin to prove herself in front of a male superior. and because i knew it would piss off the kid who i was observing if i called him that. 2 birds, 1 stone, i couldn't resist)

my instincts told me: take the $$ and run. this house is not friendly. but my well-meaning trainer feels compelled to finish off the rap when i start to trail off. he starts to speak and all of a sudden we hear a voice like a caged and angry titan whose genitalia have been removed in some disgusting creation myth. it says "aw-right we're eating supper here."

the last thing i saw before fleeing in terror was her face. round and angry, a supermarket tabloid picture made flesh. "You're done." she said. and i was done. oh my, was i ever done.

until that moment i never knew that every lesbian's worst fear was to be caught misbehaving by rosie o'donnell. something deep within my subconscious, a primal level of terror i never knew existed was stirred and i ran from that house as if the International Lesbian Police had tracked me down and were finally coming to punish all my reactionary post-feminist, pseudo-sexist anti-marriage equality badass posturing.

and that, my friends, is the story of how i came face to face with one of those modern gods we like to call celebrities and lived to tell the tale. oh, but next time we meet, rosie, i'm not going so easy on you. and i tell you if martha stewart or ellen degeneres wanna start somethin, boy, ima take you all out, all 3 of you.

** note: in the interests of fairness, i feel compelled to state that rosie o'donnell was significantly nicer and more patient than about 90% of her neighbors. i get it, rich people- you get canvassed a lot because you have so much money. cry me a river of the blood of the underclasses, assholes**

Oh, Prometheus!

2006-08-05T15:28:00.000-04:00

14 don't test me
1 My
0 IQ is
3 far 2 high
4 2 with
12 stand your scrutiny

10 I want... a medal! or
7 that Brownie
2 aren't we clever
9 enough
8 to stop

13 inventing fire?

12 stop banging rocks together
5 You. Idiot.
11 don't make me
6 tell
5 you again

15 don't make me give away
16 the ending

i will have to break my rule again soon and tell you all what happened when i saw rosie o'donell in new york and about my families hilarious wedding mishaps (for instance: my dress didn't make it here so i am going to the wedding in a nice casual skirt). but for now i figured i'd put this one online before i lost it in the calamity.

Three Poems by One Author

2006-08-04T15:50:00.000-04:00

first a few lines about war, enjoy your dose of shock and horror.

America, circa

5 the steel drumset of Ares
16 Bringing Our War
2 your doorstep

11 yeah, thats it baby
14 you heard me
1 Right

6 been keepin you going
3 since 1442
0 (or was it 1978?)

4 of course, you understand
8 perfectly
15 that is because you are oh-so-smart
7 and it's all
9 True

13 like...
4 freedom
12 and, er, uh
10 Democracy

17 Everywhere.

next a poem named after a mythical ballot question. cause thats the kinda politics-nerd i am.

#2

8 it's good for you

5 No time
2 explain, you say
4 too bad, cuz
17 I can sit here all day
16 if I have to wait,

6 for rain.
13 prayers that fall back from heaven
10 just a puddle
9 you know- an ocean
12 disconnected

3 Now, You're on My side
7 Are you sure
15 cause
14 you might want to check the
11 Books on that

1 if you have any time
2 question

fun huh? and the last isn't done but might never be. its in honor of my lil sisters wedding which is happening tomorrow.

1 i threw a shoe
0 at you

3 before you ever started crying

16 i'm afaid
4 My mermaid

0 that you often heard me lying

5 somehow
15 even now, i

12 know the triceratops was mine

0 stop rhyming everything, it's annoying. Mommmmmm

11 but we both
6 got to be a princess
9 we both
10 got to name our piggy banks

13 race ya to the happy ending

8 OK?
14 you start on
7 i'll be right there
2 behind you

touching. personal. and yet, somehow i'm not sure i want her to see it. fuck poetry. i miss writing science fiction.

home at last

2006-08-04T15:33:00.000-04:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Boston? Best city on the planet, bar none.

I liked New York a lot, though. I wish I could have stayed longer- the other times I've visited I've been there as a tourist and the diversity and character of the city never hit me like it did this past week when I was staying and working in Brooklyn. The city's a monster that deserves our respect and fear if nothing else. As for the people, although I'd heard of (and parodied) the NYC-centered mindset of New York natives actually encountering it was kinda like seeing the ocean for the first time.

You all know the joke about the old ladies seeing the ocean for the first time, don't you? For anyone who doesn't, it features two old ladies walking down a beach at sunset. The pacific ocean in all its glory is laid out before them. All of a sudden one old bird turns to her lifelong friend and says "Huh. I guess I always imagined it would be bigger" teehee.

on to more important things. in my next post i shall bring you all up to date with the cutting edge of numbered poetry.

I Blame Hermes

2006-07-30T12:04:00.000-04:00

I must not want to leave home. Good thing the fung wah comes every hour.

I googled number poetry again, just cuz. i never did an exhaustive search to see if my innovation was truly innovative. so far as i know i am the first and only smartass poet doing this numbered poetry bit- but who knows? i'm a genius but im not that smart.

actually i'm downright dumb in certain areas. for instance, when it comes to cosmology and relativity stevie hawking has me totally beat. and i gotta admit i didn't understand how to do this after looking at the page for 2.5 seconds.

oh. you wanted to know about the Hermes thing? Well, I mean the Greek god, not the super expensive store I've never gone into. My theory is that if there is just one god out there it could very well have been Hermes all along. Think about it. Cellphones? Instant Messagers? E-mail? The messenger god simply must have had a hand in all of that. I can even understand the impulse- your job is hard and sort of boring so you come up with ways to avoid it. Fax machines are well recieved by the important members of the population. You bring out a few more innovations, it gets a little out of hand, and before you know it people stop talking to each other face to face and it all moves so quickly you wonder whether you were really meant to be a deity in the first place.

But far be it from me to blame the god of cellphones. Cellphones don't kill people. They just allow people to continue arguing and/or plotting from a wider variety of locations. Guns and bombs, now those actually kill people. Am I right or am I right?

i think i'll miss the web when i'm gone

2006-07-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

13 "im a blow up"
3 thats all u heard me say
10 clapping our hands 2
8 drown the irony of it all

7 No, go back-
6 It's not like rain at all
4 its more a pop
9 firecrackers don't got nothing
0 on me...

11 pictures in the sky
2 like stars
5 that last forever.
12 if I go Out

1 I'm takin alla ya'll with me.

Might be on hiatus next week, try not to miss me too terribly much. Tomorrow i am off to NYC, which i hear is just like Boston only bigger and less confusing. Or something like that anyway. I'm very slightly scared out of my mind, since I don't have any idea what I'm doing and don't actually know anyone there. But, hey. What fucking ever. It's work related so if it sucks i can always blame my canvass director.

Damnit. There I go, I'm swearing again. I better do something about that, and quick!

(Dear god, please disregard the contents of the above blog and anything you may find offensive in the work below. Please understand that we have made up a new rule that when you say things online or in newspapers it doesn't count, because, uh, time pressure forces you to cut corners and the audience demands that you use profanity just to keep their interest. PS I'm pretty sure I have also sinned in other ways lately, I just have no way of keeping track. Could you please send me some sort of word document that has my major sins highlighted so I can repent at my earliest possible convenience? Yours faithfully, etc.)

do you want me to do a rap?

2006-07-28T01:45:00.000-04:00

NO!

don't get me wrong. i'm all for telling the truth in interesting and accessible ways. but as a poet (barf) i'd rather tell the truth in such a convoluted fashion that people feel proud of the work they had to do in deciphering it. (translation: if you want the prose form of my bs you'll have to pay me for it).

2 left to myself, i
12 I never would
3 touch upon your ayes and nays-
6 We enter dreams as ones and zeroes

11 until i reach too far
8 into Your hands,
4 and a drop of truth
9 Tastes bitterly of wine

5 retarded.
0 as in Back to the Future-
7 not the other kind
1 It isn't nice to say

10 That.

I wonder sometimes if the reason for pop culture was to produce andy warhol and the reason for karl marx was to create big souless corporations. i mean, not to get down on the Big Guy but we have got ourselves one effed up lil world right here. And you cant help but wonder if maybe someone, somewhere has been getting things backwards.

i mean, if it helps i will personally take responsibility for all mathematics related disasters.

yeah, okay, fine, that includes statistics...

poets are scum

2006-07-27T10:57:00.000-04:00

especially girl-poets. but everybody loves numbers!

The Choice

how many reasons do you need? 10
I have 2
i won't give you 9
the satisfaction 6
in making me lie 4
... for my bread 1

many voices on my shoulders 3
they never realize I'm not doing what they're asking 5
by plotting the same course through 7
seas by 8
different designers 0

oh my goodness- the numbers just started coming in backwards this morning! I'll never understand those pesky things. I think I kinda like this one though, maybe if I have time I'll come back to it and polish it up a lil. Till then, my legions of adoring fans, please know that if you start feeling puzzled by which numbers have meaning in the poem and which dont then ha ha i have successfully bitch-slapped your brain today.

winky winky kiss kiss and all that, loves.

Y M I awake?

2006-07-26T08:45:00.000-04:00

The funny part is I used to get up at 6am every morning naturally and enjoy having quite mornings to myself. All that has changed with this canvassing job, which I love, but has made my life not feel like my own lately. I get home around 11 and then wind down for a few hours making 8:43am feel almost unbelievably early.

Why am I waking up at such an insane pre-noon hour? Glad you asked.

See, apparently the people I work with care about things like publicity and crap. And since we are a bit low-budge we have to get it the old fashioned way, by doing cutesy things in front of news people. Yesterday I was informed that I was "invited" to help drop off some of the signatures we've been gathering in person to one of the offices, and asked to help round up a group of canvassers to participate along with some of the bigger guys from the office.

Hooray.

Dude, I'm almost 30. If I had gotten into this whole political action thing 10 years ago this would have been the biggest blast ever. As it was I half assed asking other people to wake up at 10am (since I wasn't wild about it myself I had a hard time selling it) so now I have to call people who work as hard as I do and convince them that this is something they should do first thing in their morning.

update: nope. no one wants to wake up.

being a political tool is way harder than I ever imagined. just because I work my cute lil ass off for these guys they must think I have some strange desire to be photographed looking like an idiot first thing in the morning. Maybe its the time of day but I think they've got my psychology all wrong. (this psychology offically includes an oedipus complex btw, because I've figured out I totally qualify. Except I don't want to marry my mom after I kill my dad, I just would allow her to live, probably).

here's to bad moods and late early mornings. cheers.

death to superman!

2006-07-25T11:36:00.000-04:00

1 my influences?
11 He's probably perched on a stool
9 planning services and sermons
6 peering at a book of poetry
2 reading, through glasses

12 he probably isn't thinking of me
5 smoking a cigarette
3 in defiance

7 you want to see something, old man?
10 whats that?
13 He wanted me to show you something, so

4 i'll huff and i'll puff

14 I'll burn your house down
8 before i ever make you proud of me

non politics-nerds beware

2006-07-23T21:57:00.000-04:00

warning: this post has no poems or numbers, and sex is barely mentioned at all.

I have a theory that there's no such thing as the left-right political spectrum. It is a complete and utter fabrication that means absolutely nothing. In my spare time I have created my own alternative model of the circle shaped "wheel-o-american-politics." I'd make a graphic up in Word or Paint and upload it, but I'm lazy so you'll just have to use your imaginations.

The top of the wheel has moderates- the theoretical American middle. Unfortunately the definition of "moderate" changes constantly, but whatever it means right now, thats the top of the wheel. Then on the left side there are liberals (those big government freaks who think abortion, sexuality, and religion should be private affairs but scream so loudly about them you start to wonder what this so-called "privacy" actually means in practice). And of course on the right there are conservatives (those anti-tax freaks who think the government should police pornography and spread christian values but the only legitimate use of tax dollars is the defense budget). Then at the bottom of the wheel it gets interesting. Slightly to the left are anarchists (and possibly commies), who want to do away with the current form of government because we have made such a mess of things our system is not salvageable. And slightly to the right are libertarians, who think almost the exact same thing, except they like guns and the military. A lot.

My canvass director, on the other hand, says my wheel is too simplistic. He describes a scatter graph- the X axis is left vs right(liberal vs conservative), and the Y axis describes the relative strength of the state- at the top the state rules all aspects of life, at the bottom personal freedom reigns supreme. The nice thing about that is he can put himself squarely in the middle and then place people like Stalin or Abe Lincoln strategically to illustrate exactly where a Joe-inspired utopia would improve on earlier models. It's a good trick and I wish I'd thought of it first. Either way, however, the old idea of The Left and The Right (and the semi-mythical moderates) needs updating already.

btw- in case anyone has ever wondered, canvassing is exactly like social work in reverse. instead of being in an office and having people come talk to you, you go to peoples homes, knock on their doors, and talk to them. as a reformed social worker i am continually impressed that this is allowed, it's completely legal, and i consider it significantly more fun than hearing about other people's problems. bwa ha ha... the tables are turned! I've got a monopoly on the problems now, and a small contribution will allow me to take them off your doorstep.

PUBLICITY!

2006-07-23T01:48:00.000-04:00

is not at all related to the following poem:

0 you say you
7 you want
2 suck
4 my

10 what?
3 er...ssss...

6 ohhhh-
9 like the way to...
5 roads diverged
0 you were not sorry.

8 dont tell me
2 girls is
1 2 many

11 maybe i like being
13 my own best
13 critic

this one goes out to all the people who have made their blogs more sexy with all that web design html stuff i've never bothered to learn. ha ha suckers i barely even know how to put a link into this fucker. btw- beer pong? best spectator sport ever. and that includes both football and soccer.

what you've all been waiting to know

2006-07-21T11:09:00.000-04:00

okay, it's time for a deep, revealing confession. but first, a poem.

12 If you could find
8 the Time
11 I'll tell you all
6 the things You never wanted to hear

5 like...
10 i love you and
1 i always will

13 when I'm busy and

2 get lost in
4 My thoughts
7 don't tell me i forgot
3 the Truth

9 you lie for my own good?
14 No.
0 i don't buy that.
15 I'm sorry.

okay. as promised I will give an intimate personal detail about myself that has not been previously revealed on this blog in any form. are you ready????

my favorite number is....

12

hehe. its true! now please go back to whatever non-poetry reading related endeavors you usually engage in.

what happens next?

2006-07-20T09:35:00.000-04:00

16 it might be a while...

0 you have two choices
1 first let me warn you
29 um...?
5 you arent going to like this

6 you can come quietly.
2 we'll give you a room
11 with a view
3 and a shirt with a collar
7 and we'll try to make you comfortable-
15 just ask

12 the only other option-
4 if you fight
13 screaming defiance
0 saying anything just to be heard
8 we promise
10 we have already learned to ignore everything

14 nope, that wont work either.
9 so, what can we put you down for?

ack. it seems like ive been bit by some sort of angry change-the-world bug lately. probably just need to get laid. oh, in juicy gossip that my readers are unlikely to understand love has blossomed between two youngsters at my office. and by love, i mean lust. seeing as my friends and i have spent many a night trying to figure out who would make the best office couple i think i can safely say that the result is far far stranger and more horrible than any of us could have imagined. it just proves the old adage- if you throw enough young people into an office together for a summer some of them are bound to start having sex with one another. here's hoping my true love stays far away from my work, even if it means going to more trouble to meet her. because im pretty sure that the only thing worse than having one sensitive, intelligent, politically aware lesbian in a relationship would be putting 2 of them in the same relationship. and lets face it, my being a sarcastic poet is unlikely to help matters.

It's funny...

2006-07-19T09:23:00.000-04:00

You know who I hate? Really. Really. Hate? Everyone in the USA who has ever used our high standard of living as an excuse for not giving a damn about poverty.

The argument goes something like this:
We have such a high standard of living in this country that our "poor" have more space and more possessions than the real poor people living in the third world. Our "poor" don't know how good they've got it. How dare you try to tell me about inequality and lack of access to good schools or decent jobs! If I were to make charitable donations (which I don't) it would be in Africa or Indonesia, somewhere where the poor have so little my $5 pittance would feed them for a week, with enough left over to buy someone a goat or something.

My job often requires me to be nice to this sort of person. Actually it requires me to be nice to every sort of person. You might be surprised by how passionately I dislike the people I meet who come from similar circumstances to my own- suburban, American, well educated, apathetic, suspicious, IDIOTS.

Yesterday I met an aging lesbian. When I asked her to contribute to democracy in a tiny insignificant way by signing a harmless piece of paper she asked me my views on GAY FUCKING MARRIAGE. I told her the truth- that gay rights had nothing to do with this particular excersize in representative democracy. (I didn't tell her about my plan to criminalize marriage for everyone, but I should have). So, having established that I was not rabidly in favor of pursuing a gay rights agenda in my every waking moment she refused to sign. I then mentioned I was lesbian too, wondering if this might help. She basically acted like I was stupid to be out working on a campaign that wasn't all gay all the time.

I didn't tell her to fuck herself. I'm sure she has a ho at home to do that. One whom she is legally entitled to marry in my state, even. But oh no, that's not enough. She needs every lesbian in the world to devote all their time to talking about and promoting gay rights or they are letting the side down or something.

So tell me. When, exactly, will it be time to worry about economically depressed communities, communities of color, kids without access to higher education, recent immigrants and their children? Apparently only after every rich white lesbian has the right to marry in Massachusetts and every child of an evangelical christian in the south has the right to pray in their public school.

I hope they pray for me. I could really use some credit with the big guy after all the lesbian sex I've engaged in. Hopefully I'll get an option to be reincarnated as a straight white guy or something. Then being good would be downright easy!

"Zen moment"

2006-07-17T10:13:00.000-04:00

the story:
on the train saturday i observed the following bizarre comedic drama unfold. a young man handed a piece of paper to a young lady sitting next to me (she was cute, but average-cute, not intimidatingly gorgeous). since i was right next to her reading a paper i could easily see the writing on the paper. it said "zen moment" and here's the punchline: it had this Romeos EMAIL and URL on it. nothing more. naturally it inspired me to poem. (thats right, ive made poem a verb now. gotta problem?)

"zen moment"

1 you have got
2 B
10 kidding me

13 I'm not
8 so attractive as
2 stop

17 You from
14 making
7 i contact

6 your URL is not the same as
5 your name and
4 your #

11 do you think
9 i am
3 stupid

12 I don't play that game
16 but I know
15 the rules
18 somewhere

depressingly enough the girl in question looked flattered and saved the piece of paper. any guesses as to how many scribbled URLs he has to give out to get laid?

in other news...

2006-07-16T17:14:00.000-04:00

i just bought a popular handheld video game playing device, and it is FUCKING AWESOME. The sheer joy of pressing buttons and killing things and/or pretending to drive stuff fast totally makes up for all the many problems with the 21st century. If for no other reason than video games I am glad to be young, American, and rich (compared to, say, sri lankan peasants anyway). *bam bam bam boop boop swoosh* I am soooo soooo blissfully happy. And I haven't even tried playing any of these drunk yet! Maybe after staff night (aka- pizza and beer night at the office).

Of course, since I'm totally against comercialism and crap like that I won't tell you what system I got or which games I have. That would be publicity and I would want to get paid for that sort of thing. The only people to get free publicity from me so far are:

Mike Skinner's ragtime band

and

public television, get it while its still remotely public

and of course Shorty would too except he's too cool for myspace so his more recent music is no where to be linked to.

what shall i do with the next 30 seconds?

2006-07-16T09:42:00.000-04:00

well, obviously!

13 why?
9 I've asked you
3 times now.
0 I think you can hear me.

2 It must be a sign of your
5 indifference towards
1 people.
11 Some are right next to you!

8 in the quiet, after all
10 this time
4 You're still pretending
7 deafness

0 i'm not going 2
12 keep asking
6 Forever.

siblings are people too

2006-07-14T09:47:00.000-04:00

As my legions of devoted readers know, usually I don't do the slice-of-life thing. However, call it a mood, today I just need to tell the world about my younger sister and brother.

Shorty is 18, he's my bro and if he doesn't grow up to rule and/or destroy the world he's gonna be a rock star. I won't say he is obscenely talented but he picks up obscure instruments and gives them a modern sound for fun in his own time. Typical conversation "Hey kid, whats up?" "Not much sis, just learning the mandolin, want to hear a bit?" Then follows something that could easily be part of some indy rock mandolin track tomorrow, followed by "You know, nothing to do, just messing around. I think I like that one though."

Meanwhile my jaw is dropping because no 18 year old kid should be that relaxed about their natural talent. Of course, if I told him he was supposed to be angsty and insecure and looking for outside approval he'd probably remind me he got over that three years ago. Can a person be an emotional-stability savant?

Meanwhile my sister, Ginny, is in grad school for developmental psych and also getting married. DAMN HER! I am two years older and the entire gay community went to the trouble of legalizing gay marriage in my state (for now, anyway) in time for me to beat her to the alter, and I blew it. Her fiance, 'Berto, is probably the sweetest most down to earth Italian god has ever created. Since I cannot speak a word of the language we can have trouble communicating, but we played video games together this spring. We played world cup soccer (well he played, I mostly watched and shouted "bastardi!" with him whenever the other team did anything good). My longterm goal is to learn enough roman swearing so that my inability to speak Italian wont be noticed on the streets when I visit. My understanding of the culture or my ancestors tells me I could probably pass for a native for at least half an hour just by getting down profanity and hand gestures.

Hmm... come to think of it, that's the same strategy I often used in social work. No wonder I was so good at working with groups of teenagers!

dear sirs,

2006-07-12T10:23:00.000-04:00

12 I dunno, what?
6 the words begin to move too quickly
5 automatic fire from your rifles
11 i didn't realize
1 this would be a texas-style day

7 Did you want some time to study
3 Me, before you make your judgement
0 we still have a re-set button.
9 call a foul

4 after you come to your decision
10 I'll forget hearing
8 the deliberations-

2 just so long as you ask
0 nicely.

i think this is my favorite in a while. came together quite nicely, yeah?

all purpose nerds

2006-07-11T11:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, so first off I want to be very clear that I am using the term "nerd" in a derogatory way. I myself am, of course, a nerd. That does not stop me from sneering at the pretentious thinly veiled superiority complexes endemic in my kind. We aren't good people, people. I would love to see a study that put hard statistical data behind my belief that the smarter someone is the more likely they are to be evil.

All purpose nerds, however, are my favorite kind. The kind of people who can't or don't pick one small area to be nerdy about while leading fairly full lives. Specialist nerds, with their bizarre fixations with early ethiopian culture or butterfly mating cycles (or Apple computers. seriously people, why?) just annoy me. As if anyone really cares about the "environment" or "global warming" shut up already! All purpose nerds, on the other hand, will be nerdy about anything from video games to artic wildlife to obscure european cinema and if given half a chance will make plausible sounding relationships between the three. Unlike the specialist nerds they are less likely to argue seeing as they want to learn as much as possible about everything and one of the only ways to do that is actually listen to other people. (Once they think they know something, however, that's a different story. watch out. bring a pistol, with silver bullets if necessary).

I'm pretty sure this species of nerd must include some of the nice geniuses (can't think of any off hand, they were all pretty much self-aggrandizing womanizers), however this genial form of nerd-dom was very likely responsible for many a reign of terror back in the day. There seems to be a fine line between liking people and manipulating them for personal power and/or the good of 'the movement'. Even so, all purpose nerds are charmingly unable to focus on one topic, have a genuine love of life, and if they were also putting people to death there's often a historical excuse that sounds pretty good when you read through it quickly.

As far as I can tell the only way to mitigate the negative effects of nerdiness on humanity is to build smarter children. If we could simply raise a generation of reasonably intelligent people the megalomaniacal nerds would have to contend with common sense and be stymied in their attempts to gather followers. And then we could have a world where everyone is a complete and utter nerd all the time, except perhaps at sporting events.

baby, i promise

2006-07-09T21:25:00.000-04:00

11 I'll drop you
4 a line
9 if i ever remember
13 Your name

0 said with a smile
7 they hardly ever notice
2 my meaning- that
10 what You did

8 that is, what we did...

14 Will not stand
12 so hard
6 (and fast).

3 there is no room at the Dew Drop inn
0 or the Hard Luck cafe
5 in MyCountry

1 To compromise

Hot Lesbian Sex

2006-07-08T23:30:00.000-04:00

69 my favorite books
2 are straight up
5 down here
13 on my desktop
8 bookshelf...

11 yeah, right there
7 by my
0 bed

3 gorgeous
9 views of the city
10 out my window

12 got really hot
4 this summer
6 don't you think?

1 i like girls who...

(go on, do it by the numbers. you know you want to)

Tugging heartstrings, one genius at a time

2006-07-07T12:51:00.000-04:00

I was saving this one, but I just read something more about my hero, Mr. Hawking. Here's what I wrote for him last week:

Do you want to know something sad?

The smartest person I know is Stephen Hawking. He's an astrophysicist and he has MS so he's confined to a wheelchair, slowly dying as his body refuses to obey his minds' commands. I don't know anything about physics, but I've read A Brief History of Time. Twice or three times, actually.

Steve Hawking was on the Simpsons and just recently in the Metro - and according to the article he wants humanity to go to Mars. He says its for the good of the species- so the world doesn't get hit by a huge asteroid or something. If you've seen the movies you'll know as well as I do that huge asteroids hitting Earth are a) inevitable and b) not good for the planet.

But you know what I think? I think he just really loves the stars. He wants to see humanity in space, going to all the places he's been imagining all his life, so that we can see for ourselves all the amazing things he knows about just using his mind and his wheelchair and whatever other fancy equipment you get if you're a physically disabled astrophysicist. (cosmologist? relativist? big physics guy?)

See, Stephen Hawking is gonna die before we get our colony on Mars. I won't be at his funeral- I never met the guy. But that's almost the saddest thing I can think of.

So come on, people! Let's all go to Mars. Not for ourselves, of course. But for little Stevie Hawking in his wheelchair.

here's the link for anyone that missed it

save the world for the Hawkster

btw- if i had answered the yahoo answers question i would have said the most important thing we can do to survive is build smarter children. high quality public education for all is the only concrete, realistic thing i can think of to positively affect the world 100 years from now. but that's just a dumb girl's opinion. im sure all the smart guys out there can think of ways to fix everything without relying on future generations. plus, even my idea has a downside because what do we do when all the brilliant children we create start wanting jobs and equal rights and higher standards of living?? yup, we are so screwed, people.

Till Death

2006-07-07T11:10:00.000-04:00

5 He said to me,
1 when we planted his fields
6 You'll reap what you
8 sow

2 I didn't stay
0 for Wild Harvest
3 because i got
11 busy doing other things...
0 (or people?)

13 i tell a lie-
4 Idiots!
14 why do you always

15 Believe me.
10 they'll get you in the end,
12 no rest for the wicked!

9 disconnect
7 kills.

i hate smart people

2006-07-07T10:22:00.000-04:00

There is a class of people who "appreciate" art. Rather than being a part of the experience the artist (or poet) is trying to give them, they stand back mentally and talk to one another in murmurs, saying only those things calculated to seem "intelligent". If they're too dumb to guess the right response they may say things like "hmm." or "ah." You know those people. Of course you do. They're quite nice, if you meet them socially- which you never do because they're too busy going to galleries or wine tastings or wherever.

So. For those that are still human but want to enjoy poetry, I will give three tips. Use them carefully or you'll turn into an art-appreciating moron rather than a person that emotionally responds to art the way nature intended.

1. Poets are often sarcastic bastards. Asking "wait a second. is poet x being sarcastic???" pays off big time. It lets you enjoy a laugh, think a little more deeply about the topic, and you don't have to know all that much background about the poet in question since the answer is likely to be "yes".

2. Look for references, but not too hard. A good poet will be accessible on more than one level. Some people treat art like a big Easter egg hunt- find the religious, historical, literary, or pop-culture references. I'd rather treat references like pleasant surprises- when I understand one it adds to my experience, but when I miss one- who cares?

3. Yes, you're supposed to be thinking something. There's no wrong answer here. If you're thinking about anything you have successfully interacted with a piece of poetry. Anyone that tells you you didn't understand after you've had this reaction is an idiot. Possibly an idiot that knows more than you about a particular poem or poet, but an idiot nonetheless. Take notes on their pompous long-winded explanation of how you missed the point entirely, don't be afraid to learn something, but feel free to tell them that Vanessa says they are an idiot.

Last but not least, a tiny bit on my efforts at poetude. My advice is to read from top to bottom, then go back and read by the numbers. Zeroes can either be the most important lines or lines that could have been left out entirely- you decide. There are also ways to rearrange the lines that I did not use that could be fun to look for. For instance, I might almost have said that I'm having sex with my co-workers, or called someone a pig, or come close to using a line from a song and then don't do it.

and in case anyone wonders, i use capitalization in weird ways but the most common is alternating between capital "I" and small i. i hesitate to give a hard fast rule on why i choose one vs the other but small "i" basically means me as a person, not an artist or writer and large "I" may or may not have something to do with god.

enough talk. lets fucking DO this poetry shit.

Frankly, Will...

2006-07-06T10:14:00.000-04:00

okay this needs a little explanation. At work we were all making fun of one guy's name. he DARED us to come up with a "new" pun on his name. I promptly did so, and he told me it didn't count because it wasn't "grammatically correct". so then it was on. oh yeah, baby. you dont wanna mess with the poet in her own element, lemme tell ya.

10 We will
2 Frank? No.

1 let me be
0 please don't tell me its a
4 sign.
3 i don't want to

6 do
0 any less than
9 my co-workers.

5 but i can
11 rock you.

7 anything
8 else?

btw- my original pun was "Will, I Frank you do better next time" in a squeaky accent, causing "Frank" to sound like "Frink". grammatically incorrect? pah.

maybe next time

2006-07-05T09:08:00.000-04:00

5 Do we still have time
1 to catch
0 the 1230?

4 wanted to just tell her...
10 No.
9 to sit and live,
12 a little bit more than she is

7 before i come to my senses.
3 did you think that i
0 can get
2 That girl

6 probably,
13 but that's a secret
11 for I am (not)
8 too responsible
0 for anything so childish.

god, i dont want to go to the pops

2006-07-04T10:55:00.000-04:00

@ 7 pee em sharp
13 the concert will start
12 and my workday will end

9 god?
10 this isn't fun anymore-

2 classical music lovers.
4 the lowest form of life
5 on this planet
11 can you send a plaugue?

1 a pox on their houses!
6 i'd be happy with a trip
8 to see superman, or
3 my friends from Work

0 okay, i didn't mean that
0 forgive me.

guess what im not scared of

2006-07-03T10:06:00.001-04:00

wow, okay, i just gave myself a pretty ambitious title there. this is likely to be quite a long list...

i don't scare easy. fear is a useful emotion, of course. it can let you know that bad shit's going down. but all the really truly bad shit i know of is on such a huge scale that being scared of it doesn't do anything. i'm not particularly scared of people thinking im stupid or foolish or naive or behind the times. when i'm being stupid/foolish then people letting me know is very helpful. but more often they think that because they actually have no idea who i am or what i already know, and because they feel stupid and want to pass it on.

i'm also not scared of gangs of young black teenagers accidentally shooting me (or purposefully mugging/raping/stabbing me). file that under "things i should be more scared of" since it is always a possibility if you insist on living nearby areas where that sort of thing can happen. but if you have common sense it helps, and i live where i live, until i stop living here.

another thing i'm not scared of is spam email. people seem absolutely terrified of subversive mailings that will force them to spend precious time deleting offers to enlarge their breasts and/or penises. im not sure i get why its so terrifying, maybe they think they'll misclick and end up with a d-cup.

id like to say im not scared of anything, but of course that's total bullshit. im just not scared of things over which i have no control. i must admit, however, gaining 10 pounds scares the shit outta me.

They

2006-07-02T17:21:00.000-04:00

last blog of the weekend, here's another poem.

"They"

1 Their feet are wet,
5 their eyes are tired.
4 Mouths and chests worn out by laughter,
2 they need to rest-
8 and fuck
0 and live forever

3 don't you dare ever stop them in the doorway.
6 They aren't so likely to say thank you later-
7 it won't do much

0 good for
9 your causes.

culture of advocacy

2006-07-02T14:36:00.000-04:00

If you're like me then your friends are in trouble. Some of them might get beat up at home or by their boyfriends, some have to work to support their families or younger siblings, some seem to take drinking and drugs waaaay further than anyone else does. Ever met a "cutter"? Ever met a bulemic? Ever just wonder about someone?

Well, guess what: you probably can't solve their problems. If you're like me you can't even solve all of your own! When was the last time your bf/gf/parents/co-workers/friends/kids made you feel like you were about to lose it? Even so, that doesn't mean you can't do anything.

A little bit of good goes a long way. You can give $5 bucks to an organization that does work close to your heart. You can spend the afternoon at a soup kitchen or copying flyers, or drop some old cans off at a food pantry. You can donate the change you get recycling your soda bottles, or get a summer job at a non-profit. You can educate yourself about resources in your area and pass that info on to friends who need it. You could even put together a benefit concert in your backyard. You do have friends in a band, don't you? We all do.

Ever think that "they" are messing everything up? Politicians? Teachers? Big corporations? Special interests? I'm not gonna argue. You're right. "They" are.

So....?
What are you gonna do about it?
Huh?

love net

2006-07-01T10:48:00.000-04:00

it's early yet so i can still be honest without thinking anyone will actually read this. there's something a little sad about this confession but here goes... i, um, really really love the internet.

ok, now ive shocked you.

see, most people enjoy, like, respect, and/or fear the internet. each of these seems to me a completely valid response to this technology (which i am just barely old enough to remember living without). the internet is creepy sometimes. other times its stupid and often even when it's being totally brilliant it manages to be even stupider. "blogging?" terrible idea. one of the worst ideas since email or mechanical pencils or the working families party.

except. i mean there's such wonderful stuff here. and by "here" i mean the, er, internet. in general. sometimes its stupid people being wonderful and other times its wonderful people being stupid and once in a while we get it right and someone who actually deserves attention (by which i mean they have something useful to offer us and/or their real lives are even shittier than fiction).

one misperception people have of me in real life is that i have very little knowledge of the internet, due to my having been computerless for most of the past two years. btw in case anyone asks i spent about half that time in domestic violence shelters, and the rest i couldn't afford a compewtor. no fear, the internet and i go way back. we grew up together, i suppose you could say. i was blogging my overblown ideas about politics and faith and personal trauma back when it was called "opendiary" and i was doing the same thing even faster when it was called "AOL user created chatrooms". and dont even ask me about... well i wont tell you so you wont get the chance to.

hey blogger. youre really sexy. best thing since myspace, baby.

i miss the smiley faces

2006-07-01T00:28:00.000-04:00

1 just off the top of
3 my head
5 i think that you are

9 fucking crazy?
12 its okay
0 i hear that a lot myself.

2 rte 128...
4 is where
6 a lot of bad stuff
7 happens.

0 um.
8 basically that's all.
11 were you waiting for me to say

*click*

anything but that

2006-06-30T12:21:00.000-04:00

The Wind

15 sometimes its blow
4 ing so hard- i can't stand
14 against it.
0 I can only. try.
1 to lean forward...

11 it doesn't make sense.
9 why haven't i found
8 anything to hang on to
7 i look for
5 safe harbours.
17 until falling starts to feel like flying.

0 wheeeeeee!
10 i'm not god anymore?
13 but we still talk
6 often.

2 They say
3 keep liv
16 ing

12 i keep an open mind
18 and i choose honesty.

new material

2006-06-29T11:02:00.000-04:00

early in the am for this but i have a few seconds

hi ho

1 i'd like to ring your doorbell
0 i'd like to win the lottery
5 i'd like to change the world

2 but i dont know
4 if you're buying me
6 so i'll just make this simple

3 you.
0 give me money!

7 its for the children.

opening schmopening

2006-06-29T02:11:00.000-04:00

all you get's a poem. sorry kids, its late and i should be in bed. btw welcome to the show.

5 It's way too late
1 The stars surround us above
0 besides, below
2 we are so small
3 before the lights of Heaven.

8 Tomorrow is
9 a day like any other
4 Time for work
6 so call
0 me on my cellphone

10 Today was good though.
11 I really tried 2
7 "not bitch"

its about... well. you understand already, dont you? something about god, something about life, something about something, man...